By Charles L. Whitfield
Of the entire books at the usually misunderstood notion of co-dependence, this can be most likely the clearest, such a lot whole and informative. Charles Whitfield is a frontline clinician who has been helping co-dependents of their therapeutic for over 20 years. He has researched the literature on co-dependence, which he summarizes during this generally learn e-book. He sees co-dependence which will extra effectively describe the painful and complicated a part of the human situation. In cautious aspect he describes simply what co-dependence is and what it's not, the way it comes approximately, and the way to heal its painful aftereffects.
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Additional info for Co-dependence: healing the human condition : the new paradigm for helping professionals and people in recovery
I focus my mental attention on solving your problems or relieving your pain. " I bolster my self-esteem by solving your problems and relieving your pain. I put aside my own hobbies and interests. I spend my time sharing your interests and hobbies. Because I feel you are a reflection of me, my desires dictate your clothing and personal appearance. My desires dictate your behavior. I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware of how you feel. I am not aware of what I want. I ask you what you want. If I am not aware of something, I assume.
My Inner Life Addiction to Looking Elsewhere Co-dependence is the most common of all addictions: the addiction to looking elsewhere. We believe that something outside of ourselvesthat is, outside of our True Selfcan give us happiness and fulfillment. The ''elsewhere'' may be people, places, things, behaviors or experiences. Whatever it is, we may neglect our own selves for it. Self-neglect alone is no fun, so we must get a payoff of some sort from focusing outward. The payoff is usually a reduction in painful feelings or a temporary increase in joyful feelings.
As I involve myself with you, my social circle diminishes. To connect with you, I put my values aside. I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own. Source: Anonymous, modified from paper circulated by Co-Dependents Anonymous. Page 33 4 How to Identify Co-dependence, Part II Disease of Lost Selfhood Whether we call it our True or Real Self, Child Within, consciousness, ego ideal, psyche, mind or identity, this being appears to be who we really are. And this, our true identity, is lost in co-dependence.
Co-dependence: healing the human condition : the new paradigm for helping professionals and people in recovery by Charles L. Whitfield